A New House

I know that things shouldn't make us happy and that we need to avoid the trap of thinking, "when I have ______, I will be happy." But I have to say that this whole idea of having my own house honestly makes me happy. I can tell a difference just since we moved forward, and after I got over the initial shock and insecurity about the leap we had made. I feel like even if everything fell through I would still be happy just because I got to take a few more steps forward in the process. It makes me happy to move forward without worrying about what will happen 2 years from now. What if Andre gets a job in another state? In another country even? What if the house doesn't appreciate? What if we need to sell and can't? What if we are just fine where we are... more than fine even?? What if we love our current ward? What if we don't love our new ward? The list of what ifs goes on and on. I kept thinking that my desire was simply selfish. And maybe it is, but my present thinking is that its a good and honest desire. Maybe the timing wasn't right before and I had to deal with that, as we all have to deal with not having things we would like when we want them. The loan is still up in the air right now too, so that could change things as well. So it still might not be the right time. But if it is...I am ready! This is something I am really looking forward to.